When Life Never Gives You Lemons, Make Something Anyway.

Remember when Heathcliff was selling lime-o-lanterns that were really lemons? Well, he has a new business idea.

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I’m surprised that Heathcliff ever acquired apples legitimately. And then, when he lost a fight with the farmer, he then just left? This is uncharacteristic Heathcliff, who normally just steals or bullies people into giving him things. I like that there’s some farmer who will sell to cats and who will tell Heathcliff no. Things would be better in Westfinster if more people told Heathcliff no.

And what the hell is beef cider? Cider is fermented fruit juice. Is this a soup? Why don’t you just call it soup? Considering how much crime Heathcliff commits and how much food he steals, one can assume this beef was not acquired fairly.┬áBut again, for why? Why are you setting up a stand selling a product no one wants?

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I Think I See The Problem(s).

Heathcliff, A Real American Cat, is always trying to pull himself up by his bootstraps. Granted, he subsists off the corporate welfare of enabling humans but whatever.

It’s almost Halloween and Heathcliff has a brilliant business plan!

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1. Those are lemons. Before you call Heathcliff a dumbass, know that cats can’t see the color green. Those kids are assholes for not telling him that he’s been carving lemons. Then again, he’s an idiot for not knowing that lemons and limes smell and taste different.

2. Lemons/limes don’t really hold up when carved. And they REALLY won’t hold up once you put a tiny candle in them.

3. Heathcliff, for why?