Important Investigative Reporting.

Today, the Comics Curmudgeon aka Josh Fruhlinger tweeted the following:

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It’s true! I do investigative Heathcliff reporting. For example, I’ve been hoping insisting that Heathcliff was drawn by Peter Gallagher the actor (Covert Affairs, The OC, Step Up 4 Revolution) as some sort of a side hobby. But then those dreams came crashing to the ground at the very end of 2013.

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This exchange might have been on of the greatest things to happen to me in 2013. Anyway, little did I know that more tragic Heathcliff news was to follow. My friend Jeremy, who I often tweet about Heathcliff with, sent me a link about Kitty Korner. Kitty Korner is the Sunday-only feature where we learn about a random American’s cat. I’ve recently submitted my cat, Jonathan, and I hope that he can get in. Turns out, Kitty Korner, in the words of Jeremy, “is farmed out.” That’s right, non-actor Peter Gallagher doesn’t even draw Kitty Korner! I can’t with this…

By the way, if you’re looking to submit to Kitty Korner, The Garbage Ape twitter account suggested that you might submit here.

Yes, I’m well aware that so much of what I’ve written here sounds crazy. Because it is. Heathcliff‘s universe is absolutely batshit insane.

Thanks for the shoutout, Josh!

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Team Pie.

Remember when I expressed my suspicions that Heathcliff wasn’t really that big a fan of cake and that he is really Team Pie?

The other day, Heathcliff tried to challenge some kids to a pie eating contest. 

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Oh, so you’re telling me that a cat who flies a CAKE flag and “really likes cake” goes around challenging people to PIE eating contests. This is the definition of a false-flag operation, folks. Literally a false-flag. Heathcliff is “Agent Orange”. Benghazi? Heathcliff. Jesse Ventura, I have the documents you are looking for. 

I don’t know what I just wrote but I have a cold, so whatever. It probably makes more sense than Heathcliff generally does.