Hey Helmet.

We have another update to the Heathcliff Helmet Canon: the HEY helmet.

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I have many things to say about this.

Why is he wearing the helmet in this scenario? Heathcliff normally wears a helmet when he’s about to attack something. This helmet seems inconsistent with his agenda of socializing with people at the party. Also, who are these people at the party? The Nutmegs don’t seem to have that many young friends. And why is grandpa a waiter at his own party?

Pat, a friend of mine, pointed out that Heathcliff probably just told a racist joke. He’s probably not wrong. Also: are there any non-white people in Westfinster?

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The Deepest Conversation About Sandwiches I’ve Ever Read.

Sometimes, I have absolutely no idea what a Heathcliff comic is about and I’ll just throw it to my facebook friends. Often, whenever I do this, the results are remarkable. Yesterday’s Heathcliff was no exception.

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I posted the comic and wrote, “WHAT THE HELL DOES THIS MEAN?” and this was the resulting thread:

Bill: Heathcliff represents the inner city working class and the sandwich represents how the “white flight” to the suburbs was destroying the urban economy and ultimately taking food out of his mouth.

Bill: Heathcliff’s actually pretty heady when you look at it from just the right angle.

Brandi: So is the man who prefers “Whole Wheat” saying, “I prefer staying in the inner city and gentrifying it.”? Also, why does Heathcliff work in construction?

Bill: Because he’s an avatar of the working poor. That’s why the other worker has a hardhat and Heathcliff doesn’t. It’s to show how he has no protection from the economic forces that harm him.

Brandi: Damn, son. That’s deep. Heathcliff is a black man. 

James: I think I know what the actual joke is here, but it’s gonna be a let down after the gold I just read.

James: Alright, screw it. You see, ladies and germs… what we have here is a classic bait-and-switch. Our blue-collar friend there is picking at his bourgeois ham on wheat, while Heathcliff – get this – HEATHCLIFF is eating a freaking BIRD SANDWICH. Now the reaction we’d expect from the construction worker would be, “Holy shitballs, that’s a bird sandwich. No thank you, my good man. I prefer processed, shaved ham to a raw (living) bird.” But no, that would be low-hanging fruit. Instead, he’s all like, “What if instead, I mention the BREAD? Mofo will never see it coming. Because again, this cat probably expects me to talk about the bird. This’ll be rich! Here I go!” That’s right, Heathcliff just took us comics to CHURCH.

James: I also prefer to look at this panel and imagine that Heathcliff is not looking nose-up at the errant lunch, but rather dead-on at the reader, with one giant cataract eye – dead center at the top of his head.

Brandi: Damn. I’d pay for Bill & James’ Heathcliff Comedy Bootcamp.

I was already crying after reading Bill and James’ Heathcliff analysis but then Pat realizes that Camus is really the only person who can truly explain Heathcliff. Note: there probably needs to be a “Camus, For Why?” Blog.

Pat: I’m just gonna start pasting literary analyses from Albert Camus’s “The Stranger” but I will replace the main character, Mersault, with Heathcliff.

Pat: “The ideals of existentialism seem to be embedded heavily in this scene as Heathcliff harshly denies his belonging to the group of humanity and insists on being his own person. Any time he is forced by society to identify, interact, or express basic human emotions and behavior, he views it as a form of punishment that stifles his individual desires.”

Pat: “Heathcliff is a detached figure who views and describes much of what occurs around him from a removed position. He is emotionally indifferent to others, even to his mother and his lover.”

Alvin: I feel the theme song is a cry for help.

Brandi: There was the episode where Heathcliff tried to make his mom believe he was adopted by a rich family. He also drove his dad to rob a bank to go back to prison to get away from him. Also: Richie Incognito is scared of Heathcliff.

Pat: Heathcliff’s ultimate vindication is in having remained true to himself and to his feelings in a society that cultivates deception and hypocrisy.”

Brandi: Also: HE REALLY LIKES CAKE!

Pat: “Heathcliff is a troubled soul trying to find happiness in an indifferent world. His attitude should inspire no admiration, and certainly is not to be imitated. He is a quasi-antihero. Where typical heroes devote their entire lives to a cause, Heathcliff has no faith in any cause, and indeed recognizes no meaning. Despite his tenacity for living in the present moment, Heathcliff is blind to the fact that every choice he makes is made with his knowing that no matter what choice is made, he will ultimately die.”

Will: Wow. I see “whole wheat is heavier and healthier than white bread.”

Brandi: That makes sense too. This comic requires even more teamwork than the ham helmet one. By the way, Heathcliff also has a gravy helmet.

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