Just A Cat.

Heathcliff at the vet

Okay, so you’re telling me that Heathcliff is a smart enough cat to run complex schemes, help people open businesses and to have a bookie but sometimes he just does some dumb cat shit? Also, let’s talk about the logistics of a cat nip app. How does that work? Catnip gains it’s power from cats smelling and consuming it. How does looking at an app drive him crazy? Then again, I have met people who smoke a ton of weed and act downright crazy just looking at pictures of pot. I guess that could be what this app does.

It’s just weird that grandpa is teasing with Heathcliff using a phone app considering that he recently brought him to the vet because he was using his phone too much.

heathcliff phone collar

While we’re here, let’s talk about this collar. Heathcliff is smart enough to operate a phone, don’t you think he can just remove that collar whenever he wants? Also, what veterinary school gives out degrees that just say “Vet.” I don’t know any veterinarians I can ask but if you know of any, please ask them which shitty vet school is out here doing this.

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Girl, What?

grandma beesHeathcliff is very confused. Why is she lecturing him on being nice to bees? Isn’t grandma just supposed to excuse his deplorable behavior by explaining that “HE REALLY LIKES BEES!” or some such nonsense?

Also: Grandma got some junk in that trunk.

Newest Additions To The Helmet Canon.

Sorry to everyone who has been waiting for a new Heathcliff, For Why? post. You see, I’ve been very busy being lazy. I’d tweet about the new comics or post on Facebook but I’ve been neglecting the 8 people who read this. No more!

When we last left off in Heathcliff helmet land, we’d learned about the “HEY” helmet. Since then, we’ve learned about two more helmets. 

omega 3 helmet

 

The omega-3 helmet. Is weird because Heathcliff doesn’t eat the fish. We’ve established that he just trolls the shit out of them on the regular.

Next up, we have the PEAS helmet.

peas helmetWhy does this helmet exist? Heathcliff doesn’t even like veggies. Is he just planning to attack the people who are visiting because he hates peas? Is he going to steal their peas? What’s your game plan here, Heathcliff? 

Whatever. Welcome to the Helmet Canon.