An Important Addition To The Helmet Canon.

First we learned about the HAM helmet.

Then we learned about the GRAVY helmet.


You won’t believe what helmet there is now, folks!

“Is it turkey or chicken wings?” – My mom

No, mom, don’t be stupid.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right, chicken wings wouldn’t fit on the helmet…It’s just words? There isn’t a logo. That’s so stupid!” – My mom again

The newest Heathcliff helmet is….



Look, I don’t know which angel investor is funding Heathcliff’s bullshit businesses but he or she needs to stop. This is a stupid business model for so many reasons. How many adults can fit their heads into a helmet made for a giant cat? How many cats have money? How many of the kids in town (who happen to be the same size as Heathcliff) want a kale helmet? And why does Heathcliff like kale? He doesn’t. He robs butchers and fish mongers. He sells beef cider. Kale? Oh kaaaale no!

And Non-Actor Peter Gallagher, a New Jersey resident, actually tried passing off kale helmets during Super Bowl week? Seriously, dude? Not cool.

But can I be honest with you guys for a second? If I saw a cat selling helmets on the corner, I’d probably buy one. That’s hilarious.

Anyway, I can’t wait to see what helmet will be added to the canon next!

Next up, at some point, will be the cat-machine canon.


One thought on “An Important Addition To The Helmet Canon.

  1. Pingback: Hey Helmet. | Heathcliff, For Why?

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