I tend to post way more about Heathcliff on Facebook than on this blog. Why? Because my blog posts are way more indepth and often I’m not feeling it.
Today’s post will be a series of stray observations. Because I’m not feeling it today.
My friend Pat S. insists that, even better than re-captioning every Heathcliff comic with the traditional, “Christ, what an asshole,” Heathcliff could be re-captioned with the falsely-attributed Gucci Mane line, “Bitch, I might be.” This only works part of the time.
Meanwhile, Comics Curmudgeon says that the new “Christ, what an asshole” is “I’m thinking of unfriending him on facebook.”
Bitch, it might be any of these.
Heathcliff is always harassing the urban wild-life. A while back, he dressed up as a giant crumb in order to lure birds. It didn’t work.
Birds do some stupid stuff but there’s no way any bird thought that Heathcliff was a giant crumb. Anyway, given that Heathcliff is always trying to attack them, you’d think that birds would be leery of Heathcliff. You’d be wrong.
Does this not scream “TRAP!!!!”? I have a few other questions:
- What was the crumb baker’s original idea that Heathcliff shot down? It was worse than a store that caters to ducks and sells crumbs?
- Why wouldn’t you just sell baked goods to people AND crumbs to ducks?
- How does Westfinster have an economy considering they cater to animals?
- How isn’t this a trap?
On Prison Pose.
I’m really annoyed by Heathcliff on all fours. It makes no sense. He has fat back legs and skinny arms. He can’t walk on all fours like a normal cat and when he crouches down, it should look more like a “prison pose“. And, given Heathcliff’s background and criminal tendencies, that makes WAY more sense.
Here’s Heathcliff incorrectly crouching down on all fours. No, I don’t know why he has a white beard.
And here is Heathcliff incorrectly walking on all fours.
On This Week.
This week Heathcliff has been insane.
Yesterday, we found Heathcliff kickin’ it in front of a fire place with a cupcake.
No idea what was going on here but I have a few guesses:
- Heathcliff, the Emperor of Cake, is pondering what to conquer next.
- Heathcliff, told by his vet that he is a a cat and could die from eating cake, is pondering if he should eat the cupcake or throw himself into the fire.
- Heathcliff is drunk.
What’s weird about this situation is that the Nutmegs think that this is something poignant and not at all weird. Your cat that you treat like a person is treating a cupcake like a person. Everyone in Westfinster is batshit insane. Westfinster is the county seat of Batshit Crazy County.
Then today, Heathcliff kept the crazy train going.
- Is Heathcliff wearing pants? The colorist appears to have messed up again. You might remember the recent pants debacle. But why would he be wearing pants?
- Where is Heathcliff zip-lining from?
- As someone pointed out on Facebook: why isn’t the zip-line going out the window? Heathcliff is just going to fly into the wall.
- Also from facebook: “Petted” isn’t a word.
- Why are there two cables?
- Facebook, again: Grandma is going to get decapitated.
- Why doesn’t Heathcliff just walk in the door?
- Who let him build that and why?
- The Nutmeg’s house is the Tardis. It looks tiny on the outside but on the insane it’s massive. What’s up with that? You know what, if Heathcliff is part of the Dr. Who universe that would explain a lot. Bitch, he might be.